Sam Tyler | November 18, 2009

With Jon Corzine back from the Tropics and a lame-duck session about to begin the real question at hand for the Governor is: what will he be doing when his term ends?

We here at Save Jersey HQ have thought long and hard about the options that Mr. Moneybags has available to him. He’s been linked to Bank of America (anyone catch the irony that the Bank of America was bailed out by America?), a position on The One’s cabinet, and professional retirement.

But we know The Wizard of Wall Street too well – he’s a smart guy and he knows exactly how to spend his years out of office. Here are some of our thoughts on Mr. Corzine’s other retirement plans:

o   MMA Fighter

Sure he might be over 50 and hasn’t ever watched a UFC or MMA event ever in his life but Mr. Corzine is adapt in misdirection and hand-to-hand combat. His money-padded handshakes helped create the corrupt Democratic machine that has helped drive New Jersey into financial bankruptcy. Watch for Spitzer-Corzine to be one of the top selling political celebrity matches in MMA history in the coming years.

o   Shock Jock

You may remember that Mr. Corzine tried to dodge the debates this year – and if not dodge, then at least to stack them in his favor – even scheduling a debate on a urban cool jazz radio station. After he leaves office what better way to spend his free time than host a 1am-5am radio show on 101.5 with Rick Shaftan? Perfect for the state workers working illegal overtime on our toll roads. A must-listen for all campaign managers looking to buy a campaign through personal wealth OR lose a campaign through alienating voters.

o   CWA-NJ Commenter

Since CWA-NJ is a leading and respected site for political news and analysis Mr. Corzine would join a well-respected group of intellectuals and politicos. The Governor would post logic-devoid comments about SaveJersey and other RINOs in New Jersey. Eventually he would be given a guest column and take wrestling lessons from Michael Illions in preparation for his Spitzer-Corzine match at the Tropicana.

o   Senator

Let’s keep it going America! As we all know The One and Corzine are tight – Corzine was one of the first early supporters for our Glorious Leader and would return to Washington hoping to continue his successful policies of fiscal mismanagement and hamming it up with the special interests. The Hudson Reporter reports that there is a Democratic strategy of having Lautenberg and Corzine retire and having acting Governor Dick Codey appoint Corzine to the vacated seat.

o   Swinger

Mr. Corzine is very popular with the union ladies and is the ideal man for all gold diggers. Bonus: goodbye outstanding debt! Daddy Warbucks will pay you and your family off!

o   TV Talk Show Host

Taking over duties for Jerry Springer leading to trashy TV brawls and outrageous guest behavior. All participants will receive a courtesy sweater-vest and free healthcare for a year, courtesy of the government. Plus free daycare for the guests’ illegitimate/legitimate offspring during taping.  

o   Vice-Presidential Running Mate

In true rogue fashion Sarah Palin will announce her intentions to run for President in 2012 on November 5, 2012 with her Vice-Presidential candidate being Mr. Corzine. Mr. Corzine will, of course be out of the country on vacation and when later asked by the press why he joined with Maverick he’ll only shrug and ask if anyone can pass his resume on to President-Elect Tim Pawlenty.